Thursday, October 28, 2004
There is always,always, always
something to be thankful for.
Anonymous
No one can possibly know
what is about to happen:
it is happening each time,
for the first time,
for the only time.
James Baldwin
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Sitting in the bus my mind just flashed to this scene of me when I was twentysomething, it was a hot day then another flashback of us driving to Soy Club to use the swimming pool or going to Hill School pool during the holidays. It is funny how I never learnt to swim while at Limuru Girls' as we had the rainy season for nine months out of three. I do not know if any of my family remember any of our sojourns to those places. Also remembering Nandi Hills when we used to go for long walks with the Sally our dog. I remember one time we walked and walked and walked. Hey Uaridi, there is a picture of a tea plantation and everytime I see it it reminds me of two leaves and a bud. I don't think this is nostalgia but sheer homesickness.
When you were born,
you cried and cried and
the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that
when you die, the
world cries and you rejoice.
Cherokee expression
You must be
the change you
wish to see in
the world.
Mahatma Ghandi
All my life I have wanted
to be somebody;
But I see now I
should have been
more specific.
Jane Wagner
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
My mother said I must always be
intolerant of ignorance but
understanding of illiteracy.
that some people unable to go
to school, were more educated
and more intelligent than
college professors.
Maya Angelou
Snowflakes are
one of nature's most
fragile things;
but just look what
they can do when they
stick together.
Visita M. Kelly
Saturday, October 23, 2004
I woke up this morning and for the life of me Cucu Wanjiku has been hovering in the back of my mind. I remember her quips her wit and sarcasm and the nasy little names she would call us which, for her were terms of endearment. Cucu Nd'undu called us by nicer and polite names and when asked Cucu Nd'undu said she couldn't call us those names because she was of good manner. You need the Gikuyu accent for this one. Cucu Wanjiku was also Nana to her great grandchildren. I remember in 1987, when she would watch the film Madhumati 10 times a day and said that she did not want to watch the cartoons as they stank! What l know of Cucu Wanjiku was that she was a freedom fighter and how they whipped a home guard who had been especially cruel to Mum and Tata Margaret. I also realised that my grandparents are no longer alive and then remembered how Muthoni and I insisted that we had to go and stay with her.... that is a story for another day.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
The price seemed reasonable, location
Indifferent. The landlady swore she lived
Off premises. Nothing remained
But self- confession “Madam, I warned,
“I hate a wasted journey- I am African.”
Silence. Silenced transmission of
Pressurised good – breeding. Voice, when it came
Lipstick-coated, long gold-rolled
Cigarette- holder pipped. Caught I was foully
“HOW DARK?...... I had not misheard……
“ARE YOU LIGHT OR VERY DARK?” Button B, Button A, stench
Of rancid breath of public hide-and –speak
Red booth. Red pillar box. Red double-tiered
Omnibus squelching tar. It was real. Shamed
By ill-mannered silence, surrender
Pushed dumbfounded to beg simplification.
Considerate she was, varying the emphasis-
“ARE YOU DARK? OR VERY LIGHT?" Revelation came
“You mean –like plain or milk chocolate?”
Her assent was clinical, crushing in its light
Impersonality, Rapidly, wave length adjusted,
I chose “West African sepia”- and as afterthought,
“Down in my passport.” Silence for spectroscopic
Flight of fancy, till truthfulness clanged her accent
Hard on the mouthpiece. “WHAT IS THAT?” conceding
“DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS” “Like brunette.”
THAT’S DARK, ISN’T IT?” Not altogether,
Facially, I am a brunette, but Madam you should see
The rest of me. Palm of my hand, soles of my feet
Are a peroxide blonde. Friction caused
Foolishly, Madam – by sitting down, has turned
My bottom raven black- One moment – sensing
Her receiver rearing on the thunderclap
About my ears- “Madam” I pleaded “wouldn’t you rather
See for yourself?”
Wole Soyinka
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Wednesday October 20, 2004
Executives Copyright © MMIV. The Standard Group
Women behaving badly
Liz Nasaipei tries to compile a list of the things women do that irritate men. Is she trying hard enough? You be the judge.
Wildlife documentaries offer a glimpse into the workings of the animal kingdom. Of particular interest to me is the behaviour of those bad-looking wildebeest. On top of having the most awkward asymmetrical faces, the poor animals never seem to function in solitude. Everywhere they go, they come in droves, making the most annoying sounds as they move along. Perhaps, their unfortunate looks and demeanour are the reason why they make good prey for the lion.
In the human kingdom, there is a subspecies whose behaviour is remarkably close to those of the wildebeest: women. Their constant need to hang out in huge groups has been driving men crazy for ages. In fact, this is the most hated habits of women. Picture this — a certain beautiful lass happens to catch your fancy. In order to get to her, you must weave through the layers of girls who make it their business to forever be around her. Like those annoying wildebeests, these girls move everywhere together. Once you have penetrated this all but impervious orbit, you summon all your tuning courage and get a date out of her. If luck is on your side (and once the venue and date has been approved by her Parliamentary gang), you are well on your way to the first date.
You haven’t heard the last of the herd, though. The object of your affections will appear will all her hangers-on in tow for your very important first date. Given women’s natural ability to attract useless crowds to every function, one wonders why they don’t do better in politics. A brother has to stretch his wallet and entertaining capacity to accommodate the increased numbers. One guy told me that this habit would be easier to take if every man knew that all those girls would be open to the idea of a wild orgy. For now, all women going on dates in groups are, plainly speaking, ill-mannered wildebeest.
Nothing irritates a man more than a woman who always asks for favours in a wheedling little-girl voice. Even some otherwise un-manipulative women seem unable to ask for something without putting on ‘the voice’. Most women who do this are aware that is an incredibly effective tactic. What they may not know is that the ‘Yes’ they have wrung out of their man is more likely because he cannot stand to see someone he cares about being so pathetic, annoying and whiny.
Men are visual creatures who rise in excitement at the sight of flesh and curves. Women know this and are now showing the kind of flesh that makes the men quiver in lust. However, there are some amongst us who are curiously conflicted about this exposure. If you as a woman have decided to bare significant sections of your tits or thighs, stick with that plan. It is rather disconcerting to see women continuously wrestling with the hemlines of their miniskirts when they succeed in attracting male attention. A man will be enjoying the lovely view of some ample cleavage only to have it interrupted by its owner’s attempts to cover it up. Where is the logic in that? Many a man has been left wondering why women are so quick to mess up their acts of visual generosity. Women should either cover up or bare it. Those flimsy attempts at going back on their obvious efforts at displaying their wares are in poor form.
A car comes close to sacred as far as many blokes are concerned. Treating cars with careless disregard or frivolity is taboo. This is why they cannot understand why many women fill their cars with rows upon rows of fluffy teddy bears. If you want to nestle with your babe in her car, you may have to jostle for space with the furry creatures that reside in her car. Try moving one out of the car and you might as well be murdering someone. She treats the little still-eyed folks as if they were living beings. Now, I have been told that such behaviour is indicative of a troubled childhood, but for most men it is bad manners.
Another vexing female habit is obsession with the two-dimensional characters that populate TV soap operas. Millions of women live for La Revancha and Days of Our Lives. It is one thing to put up with the Spanish-English lip-synching, but quite another to have to listen to the endless outpouring of female commentaries. A group of women get together and soon enough they will discuss with great detail why Solidad should find true love. The more sophisticated crowd will not let an evening go by without enumerating why they are so similar to Carrie or Samantha in Sex and the City. Short of boring a man to death, such talk leaves little room to discuss more important matters like politics and football. It is better and more polite to be a dumb blonde that to be a bad-mannered girl whose conversation only spans the local soaps.
Dare I add faked orgasms to this list? Many a woman, inspired by some mediocre skin flick, has felt compelled to cheer on her man’s efforts at taming the beast with two backs with a bout of theatrically overdone moaning. Few men will point out how patronising this is and, unless they know the neighbours can hear it (and are gagging with laughter), will probably not mention it. Word of advice: Unless he is a full of himself, he probably expects the earth to move for you less than half the time, so if you give him a perfect record he is bound to find your groaning in poor form. Humour him, do not mock him.
Women do not annoy with their bad manners, they simply irritate. They can either drive you crazy or make you lose your libido forever. For the sake of the continued documentaries on the human species, girls should cease behaving badly and cast away those annoying habits.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Published: 10/15/2004
By: NationMedia
Time works wonders. Wangari Maathai is an icon, saluted by the world and respected by the very people who trod upon her rights. But today's heroine was yesterday's iconoclast and we are not sure that we want her ever to change. Some insights into the woman and her worldview:
On being appointed an assistant minister in the National Rainbow Coalition Government: "At least I don't have to spend days in police cells. It is quite amusing sometimes when I meet the same policemen who were running after me with clubs and bullets. Now they are very respectful and they are saluting wherever I go. In a way it helps me understand the function of power.
"People can very easily forget yesterday and be overwhelmed by the power that they now have so it is very, very important to keep reminding oneself that one has been put there to do for me, to do what I could not do yesterday, to do it now."
While yesterday (1991) at the height of the fight for Uhuru Park she was threatened by an MP (the late Paul Chepkok) with circumcision if she dared set foot in his Elgeyo Marakwet District, today she can authoritatively state that all illegally allocated forests will be annulled and the parcels converted into woodlands without anybody raising a finger (April 28, 2003).
She contemptuously dismissed Chepkok's remarks with a snarl on men who "regard their genitalia more importantly than their brain".
Retorted Wangari: "They are so incompetent that every time they feel the heat because women are challenging them, they have to check their genitalia, if only to reassure themselves."
And to remind the likes of Chepkok that she did not belong to their base pedestal, she said, "I'm not interested in that part of anatomy. The issues I am dealing with require the utilisation of what is above the neck. If you do not have anything there, leave me alone!"
Yesterday, retired President Moi denigrated Wangari as confused and mentally unstable because, "only a mad person could plant trees in January when there are no rains" (February 8, 1999).
His callous comments came in the wake of shameless beatings and humiliation of Prof Maathai and others by hired goons when they went to Karura Forest to plant trees while protesting at illegal allocations. Wangari bitterly accused the President of taking advantage of his high office and elevation to ridicule a lowly woman whose only crime was to love the environment and deny him (Moi) "the opportunity to satisfy insatiable greed".
Today, Moi's successor President Mwai Kibaki is among the first people to congratulate her on her lofty achievement as the first Kenyan ever to become a Nobel laureate and the first African woman to win the coveted Nobel peace prize. Kibaki orders that she be airlifted by helicopter on Government expense to meet him in Nairobi for a word of praise.
Yet yesterday, the same Kibaki and other leaders jostling for power gave her a deaf ear when she came up with a "middle ground" approach to dislodge then dictator Daniel arap Moi. A thoroughly frustrated and disillusioned Wangari decided to contest the presidency herself.
After winning the Nobel Peace Prize she remarked: "Many of the wars in Africa are fought over natural resources. Ensuring they are not destroyed is a way of ensuring there is no conflict.
Then, she gushed out about her sh100 million plus bounty: "I have never seen so much money in my life. Some of it will definitely go towards the environmental programs. I have to make a budget and think about the things I will do - just like rich people (do).
On Sunday October 10th as I was standing at the bus stop not my usual bus stop- this rasta man came by- Picture this; the day was windy it is half past 2.00 pm and there is a lady as well as with a toddler. This guy strolled by who l later realised thought he was Bob Marley reincarnated. Lucky for the lady and her toddler their bus pulled up-
I could hear something that sounded close to wailing but singing and l chose to ignore it- then suddenly rasta man and his singing was getting louder and louder, there were harmonies and melodies. This sounded like a full orchestra. As I stood there bemused and my irritation level had been spiked to a higher level. The thought that came to my mind was "Please, please no do not sing at me as I am neither a music promoter nor do I own a recording studio." I carefully walked to my usual bus stop.....
Monday, October 11, 2004
Thanks to Victor Lewis Smith TV Critic of the London Evening Standard for this one 30th/09/2004
"When the Chilean dictator -Pinochet met the Commander-in-chief of the Bolivian Navy. Pinochet said-"This is so ridiculous Bolivia has no coastline, so how can you have a navy?" And the Bolivian Commander replied" I don't think it so ridiculous, after all you have a Minister of Justice in Chile."
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
We are the miracles that God made
To taste the bitter fruit of Time
We are precious.
And one day our suffering
Will turn into the wonders of the earth.
There are things that burn me now
Which turn golden when I am happy.
Do you see the mystery of our pain?
That we bear poverty
And we are able to sing and dream sweet things.
Ben Okri
Saturday, October 02, 2004
This is one of those places that I want to run out screaming. Some guy has walked in with harufu like hajaona maji for a long time. I don't know whether l prefer cheap cologne or dirty sweat and you just feel like telling the man please (why is it always men- their sense of smell is not very well-developed is it?) do not put your hand up as the wafting of that smell is enough to kill all semblance of nostril hair. What is it about water that people are afraid of when there is an abundance of it in London, can you imagine there is also rain water which can be gathered in mkebes. Then next to me are two young guys who feel that the computer needs two people for it to function. I may become a magistrate and start handing out ABSOs yaani Anti-Social Behaviour Orders that they may just correct some of these anomalies.
Friday, October 01, 2004
"Everyone of us gets through tough times because someone is there standing in the gap to close it for us"
Oprah Winfrey
" In the old age, black was not counted fair
or if it were, it bore not beauty's name;
But now is black beauty's successful heir"
William Shakespeare